So far, all of the major milestone moments in my life have
been accompanied by a significant move. I have to laugh, because I learned in AP
Psychology that certain life events are identified as being significantly more
stressful than others, even if they are “good” stress, and it seems like I
don’t take on one at a time; I like to double or triple them up. Go big or go
home, right? (Check out this site to see how stressed out you are.)
Notice that change in residence is worth 20 “life change
units” out of 100. I personally think it should be more points, considering all
the changes that go along with a move to a new home, but there are several
ordeals at the top that have got to be worse (let’s hope none of us ever find out).
Adding a move to another life event or three might feel daunting, but I have
found it is best to take on the challenge and welcome it as a blessing
disguised as brown boxes and clear packing tape.
Here is my own track record:
HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION
Two weeks after graduating from high school in Maryland, my
family moved to Florida. Two months later I moved to the University of Florida
to begin marching band camp. My Grandpa suddenly passed away a couple of days
later and I traveled back to Maryland for the funeral, then flew back to
Florida and attended my first college classes the next day and learned my first
college halftime show in one practice (thank goodness it was simple).
End school (26 points) (<= Peace
out, high school!)
Change in residence (20 points)
(<= Hello, sunshine!)
Change in schools (20 points)
(<= Go Gators!)
Begin school (26 points) (<=
Where are my classes?! When are my classes?!)
Death of a close family member (63)
(<= I miss you, Grandpa.)
Grand Total: 155
COLLEGE GRADUATION
After completing my M. Ed. at UF (before officially
completing it, actually), I moved to Inverness, Florida to teach high school
history. I started work at the end of July, graduated on August 7th,
and had my first day with students on August 9th.
End school (26 points) (<= What
do you mean, I’m not in college anymore?)
Change in residence (20 points)
(<= This county doesn’t have a Target?! Panera?! Five Guys?! Chipotle?!
Kohl’s?! A bookstore of any kind?!)
Change in working hours or
conditions (20 points) (<= Employment is nice!)
Change in
financial state (38 points) (<= Paychecks are the best!)
Change in social activities (18
points) (<= I suddenly didn’t have many.)
Grand Total: 122
MARRIAGE
My husband and I married each other on June 8th 2013.
Following our honeymoon we lived in Drew’s apartment in Miami. At the end of
June we moved into the spare bedroom at the home of his very wonderful and gracious
friends as we waited for news about Drew’s job transfer. When we got the
go-ahead, we packed up and drove to Dallas where we stayed in a hotel for a
week and half, then moved to a hotel in Arlington for five days, then moved
into our apartment with the help of my amazing father who drove all of our junk
from Tampa to Arlington. (There’s your little nod, Daddy. Happy?)
Change in working hours or
conditions (20 points) (<= Bye, bye, CHS.)
Change in residence (20 points)
(<= Inverness to Parents’ House)
Marriage
(50 points) (<= Mrs. Smith is in the house!)
Vacation (13 points) (<=
Honeymoon!)
Change in residence (20 points)
(<= Parents’ House to Drew’s Apartment)
Change in residence (20 points)
(<= Drew’s Apartment to Friends’ House)
Change in residence (20 points)
(<= Dallas Hotel)
Change in residence (20 points)
(<= Arlington Hotel)
Change in residence (20 points)
(<= Home, sweet home!)
Grand Total: 203
Despite all the addition I just did, this post isn’t really
about the points. There are no awards to be earned here, but it is interesting
to quantify stress this way. I don’t add up these things on a daily basis, of
course, but years later, I can look back at all the stuff that was happening in
my life and be pretty proud that I came out on the other end relatively sane. I
think. You tell me.
Anyway, this has been a very looooong digression. My POINT
here is that I am thankful that God
placed moves in my life when other big things were going on; I think moving
ended up feeling less like a big deal and simply part of the natural process of
whatever else was happening. In a cool way, these many re-locations serve as a clear
break in each chapter of my personal development. There is no doubt in my mind
that I grew up in Maryland. I went to college in Gainesville. I taught 11th
grade U.S. history in Inverness. Now, I am married and I live in Texas. For
people who prefer compartmentalization, follow my example and you will be happy
as a clam.
Admittedly, moving and unpacking and making new friends are
added inconveniences when you are trying to start college, or a new job, or a
marriage, but it has made all of those experiences more intense and significant
to me. I know that I learned more about myself by moving around than I ever
would have if I had stayed in one place all of this time. As a kid I imagined
that I would always be able to go “home” to my parents’ house in Maryland, but I
have since realized that it is okay to move, to form new traditions, to feel
love and loyalty to more than one “home.” I don’t know where the future will
take me, but when I find out, I am pretty sure my cynical response will be, “Oy
ve! We have too much stuff to put this all in boxes again!” In the end, though,
I will let optimism prevail, “Move on!”
