As you probably know if you have read most of my blog posts,
I decided not to immediately look for a teaching job when Drew and I moved to
Texas. There were a variety of reasons behind that choice and sometimes I
wonder if it was the right or best thing to do, but I can undeniably say that we
have been happy to have the flexibility to travel to visit family, I have
enjoyed exploring my crafty interests, and we love getting to spend time together each
day that is not interrupted or overtaken by lesson planning and grading.
Teaching is a special kind of stressful (open up any newspaper in America and
find nearly any article about teachers or schools and you can understand why),
and I can honestly say that the break has been very, very nice, and certainly
welcome during this first year of marriage.
Now, it’s that time of year when we here in these United
States are encouraged to show teachers our appreciation. This year it is
throwing me into a tiny bit of an identity crisis. And when I say
tiny, I really do mean tiny. This is not one of my sarcastic litotic moments, so don’t
get too worried about me. However, I do feel a little sad when I think about
Teacher Appreciation Week, especially
when I see the Chipotle buy-one-get-one ads and I remember all the free food we
used to get at school. Isn't that why people get into teaching? Just kidding! I mean, I still have a teacher I.D. in my car, but using
it to get discounts would be akin to lying and I just can’t bring myself to do
it. Plus, using a Florida teacher I.D. here in Texas would be weird
and awkward.
I still enjoy thinking about my three years with my high
school students. Unlocking my classroom door every day was a privilege, and I
couldn’t believe that, at such a young age, I was entrusted with educating those
teenagers. I really miss being able to post on Facebook all the crazy things
they said and did. Now,
when I talk to people about my experiences, my brain stumbles to find the right
words to convey who I was then compared to who I am now. We live in a culture
where many people define themselves, at least in large part, by their job
title, so I often find myself saying things like: “When I was teaching,” “When
I was in the classroom,” “When I was with my students.” I can’t bear uttering
the phrase, “When I WAS a teacher.” It is so final and definitive.
There are some jobs that you do, and some that you are.
True teachers are called to their career as a vocation. I spent five years studying and working very hard to be
able to be a teacher. I sometimes do still think about lesson plans and miss
“my kids,” as I called them. Am I doing myself a disservice by having not
taught this year? Some might say that I am neglecting that vocation right now,
but I don’t really think so. I might not be in a classroom today, and maybe not tomorrow either, but who knows? It's not like I have abandoned the career altogether, I am just doing something different for now. Besides, a formal classroom setting does not define a
teacher (although it does provide a paycheck). Just ask anyone who has ever
wanted a short answer from me, or better yet, anyone for whom I have answered a
question with a guiding question of my own. It doesn’t get more teacher-y than
that. I love spending time with my young nieces, counting, naming letters,
talking about colors and animals, reading books, and teaching them what the fox
says (if you are wondering, they say “wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow”). And someday I
will have children of my own and I’ll do the same things with them. And I am very
excited that soon I am going to be working part time in a job where I
think/hope that my instincts and experiences as a teacher will be useful- it is
a great opportunity!
So,
although I feel kind of awkward and, at times, perhaps even guilty during this
Teacher Appreciation Week, I remember that the most important thing I did as a
teacher was teach myself. Not just the American history content, but I learned to exude
confidence, how to interact with all sorts of people, how to roll with the
punches, and how to show enthusiasm and excitement despite being exhausted and stressed
out. And the patience- I learned that there is a boatload of it inside me,
sometimes too much in my opinion, but I think I would rather have too much than
too little. So, this week I am Teacher Appreciating myself by celebrating the
things that I learned during those three years. For now, I may be a teacher
without a traditional classroom, but I will never stop teaching. I will never
stop being a teacher.
I would like to note how grateful I am that nobody has ever criticized or questioned my choice to take a break from teaching. My husband, family, and friends have all been incredibly supportive and encouraging. So, please know that none of this "internal conversation" was caused by anyone, I have just been thinking about it, because that's what my brain does, whether I want it to or not.
And to all the men and women who ever taught me, from
pre-school through college, and those who I am proud to have called my
colleagues, thank you so much for all of your hard work, dedication, and
loyalty to your field and to your students. I would not be who I am today
without you. And to my first teachers, my parents, you are the best I could
have ever asked for. Though you did help me with my homework, you also taught
me the things that will never be found in a textbook but are the most important
parts of life – faith, hope, and love.
Happy Teacher Appreciation Week!
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| Gosh! There is so much to say about this picture: 1) This was my classroom and the second or third way that I arranged my desk. I liked to change it up and throw the kids off their guard. 2) This was THE day that I met Drew in real life. Woot Woot! 3) The blue card on the front of my desk says, "Whatever you are, be a good one," and was the inspiration for the title of this blog. 4) That R2D2 coffee mug is no longer with us because a student broke it by accident at the beginning of the next school year. It was a sad day. My C3PO PEZ dispenser was distraught. 5) The pile of papers on a teacher's desk never gets smaller. I am appalled by that stack in the back corner. 6) There is a family Christmas card on the board just behind my computer and several of my male students became obsessed with my sisters. It was the first time I realized that my youngest sister was a high schooler and theoretically could have been friends with students. And now she is about to go to college. NOT OKAY. 7) That is all. Thank you for reading! |
